I had pretty pad ppd after having my first son. I had it for about 5/6 months and it was such a dark period of time. I loved my son so so much I just hated myself for suffering with it. I'm so in love with him. He is now 16 months and truly my light & my heart. I'm scared that there no way I can love this baby as much or scared I will suffer ppd ten fold. What if I like one more then the other. I'm just scared. I feel terrible my first won't have all of me. Any advice.