Daddy's Labour and Birth survival kit.

Ladies I need opinions for survival kit items.

Before Judging me. I want to make a hilarious survival kit for my OH for birth and labour. We have a sense of humor that each of us understands he makes out he's a tough nut but really he is a teddy.

I know I may turn into shrek whilst birthing its a 50/50 chance (I would never ever ever physically hurt him) so I want to give him some safety precautions in his survival kit for humor.

So far I have:

Ear plugs

Mouth Guard

Notes saying I really love you not hate you

Dick guard

Hot sauce to put on his tongue if he passes out..

Should Include a hand Mitten or boxing gloves for cushions of his hands.

Guys please remember this is only for humor. We really love and support each other 😍🤰👫