My boyfriend and I are each other’s firsts. We’ve been having sex for almost a year now. We’re also victims of sexual assault. A few months ago we wanted to try something new, so he tied my hands behind my back. As we were having sex, I became triggered, and started crying. He stopped immediately and just held me. We talked about it afterwards and I told him I don’t like the feeling of not being able to use my hands. He understood. Earlier today I decided I wanted to try it again, so we did, but with precaution. My hands were in front of me and he was holding my hand, so I was aware of my surroundings, but out of nowhere I started crying. I feel so bad and I know it’s not my fault, or his. Crying about it just makes me want to do it more, but I know I should just try to stop at this point. Any advice? Thank you in advance