Since I was old enough to realise how babies were made I have always wanted one of my own. I have been on 2 different contraceptions for 5 years and recently had to trial a month without contraception as I bleed for 3 years because of it. Within that month I got pregnant.. My DF and I were so happy, proud and excited. I was only 4-5 weeks when I found out about it then not even 3 days after we  got the great news I miscarriaged. For a whole week it didn't sink in and I refused to believe it, a week went by then it hit me and I have been a mess since, I'm currently suffering depression because of it but refuse to take anti depressants as I have seen the after math.

My DF and I have always wanted kids but after it happened my DF told me he wants to TTC when I'm ready. I told him I was ready but now I don't think I am. Don't get me wrong I still want kids of my own more than anything but I feel like we shouldn't be trying and I have many reasons for this.

1 we are still living with his parents and nowhere near owning our own place

2 were still both studying (him 2nd year apprentice electrician, me studying diploma of early childhood education and care)

3 I'm only doing casual work and some weeks I don't get any shifts at all so some weeks I struggle to survive

4 we're still quiet young (him 18, me 19)

But on the other hand this is something we both want so bad and working in childcare only makes me want kids even more.

I have talked to some friends and most of them think we should continue TTC and others have said they think we wait until we have our own place and finish our studies.

I can't help but agree with them but I really really want a child I don't know what to do and I'm scared that if I tell my DF he won't take it so well :(