What would u do if u you've been married for 9 years but have not had sex in 5 years and u want ur 1st baby& he has kids but wont talk2 u about why he wont have sex with u

Question

I just need a little advice I got married when I was 18 we've been together for 9 years he is a really good guy and takes really good care of me, works hard& he has never cheated on me he is 15 years older then me and has a ex wife with 3 kids with her and 2 other kids before her so he does have 5 kids but he has always said every woman deserves to be a mother I do have a hard time getting pregnant cause I do not ovulate on my own so I have had surgery to see if I would ever be able to get pregnant and the surgery went great and I was told I just have to take medication to force my body to ovulate so I did everything I had to do surgery and taking medication he was so supportive and excited to find out that we would be able to have a baby of our own one day but when it actually came down to having sex it never would happen he was always to busy or to tired and always falls asleep in the front room and now 5 years has passed since we've slept in bed together to even just cuddle or hold each other or have sex and now its  been 5 years since we have had sex so I just wanted to ask everyone else's advice on what would you do if you did not have any kids and want to be a mommy so bad and have done so much to your body to get pregnant but your husband won't touch you but we still love each other so much and have a really strong marriage and I love his kids so much as well but its not the same as having your own baby and having that special bond while you feel that baby grow inside of you I'm so confused we've tried counseling and everything SO PLEASE WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WHERE GOING THREW THE SAME THING

Answer

5 years and no sex with your husband??!?! I'm sorry but he's getting it elsewhere. If you are willing to forgive him once he hopefully tells you the truth then that is your business. Me personally would move on with my life and find someone who doesn't have constant excuses for not wanting to be with me. You're young.

Answer

I'm sorry but not being intimate in 5 years doesn't sound normal. Not once in that time has he wanted to have sex with his wife? So, do you think he hasn't orgasmed in 5 years? I just really don't understand I guess.

Answer

I understand that everyone is different, but 5 years is a long time and to not get in the mood even once during that time to have sex is beyond me I don't want to sound shallow but I need sex in my life and I would leave based on how long it's been since being intimate with my SO.

Answer

He has had sex. May not be with you but believe me he isn't missing. Double check that he is still interested in women. IJS...that's too odd.

Answer

Um I think you been single for the past 5 years just didn't know it. He getting it from somewhere, just move on I would've a long time ago. All the signs are there just take the hint

Answer

Sounds like he can't get an erection and is to embarrassed to admit it so he has withdrawal from you. I say go to counseling and have him go to the doctor.  If hee refuses them leave. If you leave he will do one of 2 things..

1) Tell you he will do anything you want if you just come home and then go back on his word as soon as you come back. (Don't do this don't just go back unless the appointments are made and he has gone to a few of them)

2) want you back but refuse to go to do anything. (If this happens just get a divorce)

3) agree to everything you say to keep you. (Make sure the appointments are made first though. You will proudly have to call and get it all set up because men are prideful.)

Answer

If its been 5 uears since you have slept together and have had sex, don't you think he is having sex regardless?  And hold on. You haven't had sex in 5 years with your husband? Something is abnormal here...

Answer

All though this does sound out of the norm for most people don't believe women who tell you he's cheating because they don't know your husband. Me and my fiancé took a break type thing years ago for a couple years we still dated but didn't live together and he never had sex with me or anyone else so just because you guys aren't having it doesn't mean he is stepping out getting it somewhere else as some woman have suggested. So don't let them doubt what you know to be true if you don't have any doubts about it. It is possible for some people to not have sex not every person is the same. I would try sitting him down and having a very long indept conversation with him and maybe try some counseling again if your up for it. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer

Value yourself enough to stop settling. Whether or not your husband is having sex somewhere else or not-- which is almost irrelevant since there's no proof and since you don't believe it--- if you take cheating off the table- is this the kind of marriage you want? Maybe he is tired and doesn't think he can be a father to a sixth child. Maybe he's terrified to have sex because another child is ALOT of work and money and time and energy. Maybe the man has had his share of children. 
You deserve your turn. It's okay to love somebody and still say: " this person is not right for the direction I want to go in my life." 
Value yourself enough to find someone who wants to make you a mommy and celebrate the entire process with you. I'm so sorry that your current mate isn't doing this, it must be painful. 
My final words: be true to yourself.

Answer

I just want to say that you're a good one! After not having sex for the first 3 months, I would've been asking wth! If he wasn't giving me the answers that I was looking for, I would've been long gone. But that's just me. In a marriage I would not go 5 years with anyone and there's no intimacy of any kind. It's time to sit back and evaluate your life and marriage to see exactly what route you are ready to take. I was married for 17 1/2 years and I told him that I was going to have a child with or without him and fortunately it was without him and I couldn't be happier about my decision. Not happy with my daughter's father but happy that I have a little person who will love me unconditionally and who will be in my life until the end of my days.
Best wishes to u

What would u do if u you've been married for 9 years but have not had sex in 5 years and u want ur 1st baby& he has kids but wont talk2 u about why he wont have sex with u

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey