So I’m 9 weeks pregnant with my third child. My oldest is 11. It’s been a while.

Maybe what I’m feeling is normal not sure.

Every night for the last two weeks or so I can’t sleep until i tire myslef out usually around 2 am. If I try to close my eyes before that because I do feel tiered I wake up right away and in a panic or like in a sleep state. Sometime I can be in between awake and sleep and when that happens its Scary because i usually visualize stuff in my wall that’s not there.

For the last two days I’ve had a headache. Don’t know what kind of headache since it’s rare for me to have one prior to being pregnant. Yesterday it was a burning tight throbbing top of the head headache.

Today it’s only on my right side and mostly in my temple and radiating to my neck and shoulder areas all on the right side.

I have health anxiety. I’m sure there’s a different name out their for what It actually is but anything happening different to my body a sudden ache or pain freaks me out. I think the worst. Can’t tell you prior to pregnancy how many times i ask hubby to take me to er because I felt I was dying and each time it was just anxiety which then cause indigestion and acid reflux. Finally saw my primary doctor a month before I became pregnant and I said to her I’m here because I’m always feeling out of breath. I feel like at night I can’t sleep I was up in a panic she automatically said I feel that your heathy as can be and you may have anxiety and need to talk to someone

I hate that I have this and having it while pregnant sucks even more. I can’t literally make myself sick , and even tho I can control it most times it’s a horrible feeling to feel .

I feel like when I’m actually sick or something is wrong (hopefully never ever ), I’m going to listen to everyone and tell myslef that it’s just anxiety and die. Right now In my head I’m worried about pulmonary embolism or any type of blood clots. These on coming headaches are def real and not my anxiety. And I keep telling myself I just turned 9 weeks I’m sure my hormones are rising like crazy and that’s why I feel like this and it’s always at night. I feel I’m afraid of something happening while I’m asleep. I always checking my blood pressure. Maybe around 5 times a day some days If I been okay mentally all day maybe twice if none. It’s usually under 110 and under 76 lowest it has gone was last night 96/69 heart rate 78. Even with good blood pressure lately during the day light house work will spike my heart rate to 101. Which scares me.

I wrote this long post in hopes that even tho i wish no one goes through this or is going through it maybe someone can relate and can help me in some way if they learnt how to manage it more.

Maybe therapy will work I should look back into it. My anxiety is all health related anxiety that while I was in school for medical assistant and worked in a clinic started in 2013.