I didn't realise how obese and ugly I look in pictures taken of me. Now I realise why a guy I went on a date with looked so disgusted with me and couldn't get away fast enough. Why would a fit and attractive guy in the army ever go for someone like me? And please I don't wanna hear the whole "how can you expect someone to love you when you don't" and I don't expect anyone to love me. Why the fuck would they. I don't wanna date I don't wanna be with anyone I look fucking horrendous. I'm boring. Dull. I don't care anymore. I realise now why my ex started looking elsewhere and why nobody will go near me. I know nobody will love me therefore I don't need to love me. I know I'll be alone forever and I'll just have to come to terms with it. Hey there's more to life than finding love right? I mean it'd be nice to experience it but people go their whole lives without it. Maybe if I adopt kids or have my own via donor etc then I can see them find love and get married. Sorry rant over