I was married for 14 years, ended in divorce but me and my ex-husband are still best friends. We were always better friends than lovers. We both moved on with different partners and still hang out.

We have two teenage daughters together so we will always be in each other’s lives. He is just casually dating and I have been with my current partner for 4 years, we have a 1 year old together and another on the way.

I was head over heels in love with him, I literally worshiped him.

Last year he cheated on me with his coworker. Bc separating wasn’t something either of us wanted we chose to work on our relationship and stay together. Things have been up and down but relationship wise things have been great, tbh. I no longer worship the man, I never thought he was the type to cheat but boy was I wrong. I snapped out of it and saw the human in front of me.. I still love him but the fire has dimmed for me. No matter what I do I feel empty and just don’t feel like I used to for him. He’s been great. I feel guilty about this.

My hormones are crazy right now, thinking about the way things were, my ex and I weren’t in love but we loved our family, we had a good life and I still do, but I just miss how much we were together.. it makes me sob. We were happy. I’m not happy lately but I deal, for my babies I deal. It’ll eventually catch up to me.

This wasn’t a grass is greener thing or a be careful what you wish for type of thing. I just feel empty and alone all the time. My girls chose to live with their dad and I am ok with that but I do feel lonely most times.

Thanks for reading.. I just needed to get this off my mind and maybe someone can relate.