How to I forgive my "best friend"
It's in quotation marks because of how hurt I've been lately and the fact shes been MIA
Backstory... best friends since we were 15, now both 36. We have been through so much together, shes been there for me and I've been there for her. She had her son at 24 weeks a couple years ago and I bent over backwards to make sure anything she needed, she had, but most importantly I made sure she knew I was there for her emotionally. Calls, texts, flowers... I wanted her to know she had my support. Fast forward to Aug 2018. I get pregnant and am so excited to tell her. I find out she tells our "circle" which is mostly her circle that I just hang with occasionally. IThese arent my people. They are fake and I'm just not like that. She tells me her sis in law is also pregnant, due at my same time and that she told her too. Well, I find out at my 7 week appointment that I have a blighted ovum. I text her what happened and I dont even get a text back for 3 days that then said "awwww buddy" and that was it. No call. No other text. She lives 2 miles away and never even tries to stop by. So now I'm feeling angry all these people know I've miscarried when I never wanted them to know to begin with. She then just falls off the face of the planet. In Oct she finally called. I was so depressed at this point, I accepted her reach out and had her come over. I bawled my eyes out, told her how depressed I was, and opened up to her about everything when I was already feeling hesitant bc she didnt try to be there. I'm a private person. I dont tell people my shit, so that took a lot. She apologized she wasnt there and asked if we could go out to eat soon or even just hang out. I said of course, I need it. Well guess what. 2 months go by and nothing. I poured my heart out to her and she didnt even send a "how are you today text". Next one I get is on Christmas that says "merry Christmas ". So now, I get this text yesterday and I'm just over it. I feel like she was wanting to tell me she was pregnant, that's why I worded it the way I did. I am obviously being very short with her. I have no desire to hang out just because she has nothing better to do. She has really hurt me and disappointed me to my core and I dont know how to get past it. What makes it harder is she was really my only friend. Now I feel like I have no one
***posted my text to her and her response in the comments***