Needing some support

So I feel like ttc has made me question everything. Last week my period was supposed to start on Tue/wed, took a test Tue and it was negative. Wednesday I feel like its gonna start, i can (TMI) smell it but I'm just getting pink/brown spotting. Thursday same thing and Friday nothing at all. This whole time I have no cramps just some abdominal pressure which is barely there. So I started to think that could be implantation bleeding. This actually pisses me off because I had resigned myself to the fact that this wasn't my month. Now I'm afraid to test again because I don't know if I can handle a negative. Sorry I just needed to vent ☹