I NEED ADVICE PLEASE.
So around 3 months ago I was with a boy who I thought I used to ‘love’ we ended and I had been treated badly by boys in previous relationships in the past and usually the way I deal with situation is to cry and have an emotional stage, with this boy I did something very different and went to another boys house, who yes I did know very well but never seen him to be more than a friend maybe a cheeky flirt but nothing more. We never had sex but I did suck his dick and he fingered me whilst I was at his. I couldn’t keep it to myself as I felt bad after this happened and I told the person who was my bestfriend at the time everything that happened, because back then I had trusted her. Now 3 months down the line I met someone else who I really am falling in love with. We’ve been speaking for a little while now and we’ve done everything we had sex with eachother just yesterday and I lost my virginity to him. However me and the girl who I told about what happened between me and the boy are no longer friends and we do not get along due to the fact that she too has feelings for this boy and she never did anything about it. However she is constantly trying to poison the boy who I’m currently with against me by saying things to him and hinting that I am not faithful. Which I am, I never cheated or was unfaithful in anyway. This boy is so amazing to me and does a lot for me but I told him that nothing ever happened between me and the boys house I went to when we first started speaking and it was only ever brought up once. The guilt is eating me alive as I know it’s wrong for lying but it’s not hurting him and I never even knew him like that when I did decide to do things with another boy I just haven’t been completely honest. I cannot bring myself to tell him as I know it would destroy him and me after all he’s the boy I lost my virginity to he means a lot to me. I have no clue what to do but i am adamant I won’t tell him about what actually happened because it’s not hurting him not knowing right?? I just need some advice from an older person as I cannot speak to my mum about this as she doesn’t know I am sexually active and I know she would not see it at all like this and just be angry with me