So my husband and I have been together for 8years married.

11 years total.

Well during the first two years he was in the military and I joined the military myself and ended up stationed elsewhere.

We were in two different states and we did the long distance then took a break. We both saw other people.

Well after I deployed he came to see me at homecoming as friends. We ended up rekindling and well I ended up pregnant with my oldest. We decided to date again long distance. Our daughter was born and he didn’t want us to be apart.

I still had a year and half before I was done with my contract. So we flew back and forward to see each other and for him to see the baby. When my daughter was a year I got deployed and she went to stay with him. After I came back he proposed and we got married. I switched over to the reserves and moved to his duty station with our daughter everything was perfect.

Well a year into it I found out one of the people he dated while we were apart was a coworker and she still had a thing for him and she texted him all the time. She knew he had gotten married and he made it obvious and even got his ring tattoos since he couldn’t wear one at work. Well she continued trying to bud in and I really couldn’t do anything about it as they worked together and it’s not like I could ask him to quit or something.

Anyways we got into an argument about it and he ended up telling her about our problems and how I was jealous that they worked together, which I wasn’t I was upset that knowing he got married and had a kid she continued to try and hit at him.

I lost my shit and didn’t want to deal with the drama. So he out in for korea so we could leave his duty station and get away.

Well during that year in korea he got addicted to porn and being away from our child made hm drink a lot.

I was so confused I didn’t marry that man. I stop answering his calls after he started being an ass and saying it was my fault because I was being petty and this and that. Well it put a lot of strain on our marriage. When he came back and we moved to the next place he wasn’t the same he still continued with the porn then went a step further looking at tinder and talking to people. Didn’t meet up with anyone just talked. One messaged he said he was getting divorced. Something he didn’t bring up to me.

After seeing that I drew up the papers and told him if he wanted to go out and fool around and say he was going through a divorce fine but I wanted to know and file not be blind sided when he cheated.

I got pregnant with my youngest during this time. I didn’t want to tell him but I did. We went back and forward about being happy about the baby and then asking me not to have her. Till this day it breaks my heart.

We separate for the remainder of the pregnancy. He was a dick trying to figure divorce situation and asking me if I wanted to be with him or not. I was so emotional and unstable with pregnancy and fell into depression. He slept with someone else during our separation. He did tell me didn’t hide it and I couldn’t really say anything being that we were separated and heading towards divorce.

So we waiting for court date for custody and our daughter was born early. She was in the nicu for 2months. That opened his eyes and he was there daily.

We went on to going to marriage counseling and he went to counseling for his addiction to porn. It took me two years to finally forgive him

now I’m currently pregnant and he’s set to deploy while Im 6months pregnant and he will be missing the birth.

He wasn’t there mostly for our first pregnancy due to being in different states, second pregnancy he was mad at me and me at him so he didn’t show affection to me during pregnancy.

This time around he’s so attached and loving like he’s never been. Feels almost too good to be true. I love it but it feels weird. I told him that and he cried and held me and told me he’s sorry this doesn’t feel normal because it should of always been this way and he took me for granted for too long but he’s not going to mess up again.

I love this man to death and he really has changed. I’m just scared this deployment may set us back. We decided to do counseling before he goes just so we have everything out there and we can be on same page.

I know a lot of y’all will say I shouldn’t of stayed this long but we got married young and it took us both a lot of growing to get where we are.

I guess what I’m trying to ask out of all this is how do you get passed that too good to be true feeling? What can we do so I don’t lose trust because of the past?