Bad hygiene

I’m going through the worst time of my life, my anxiety and suicidal thoughts are at an all time high. I haven’t showered in like 2 weeks and I know I smell really bad but I just can’t motivate myself to do literally anything. I’ve lived off of ice cream or nothing at all for the last 5 days, hardly brushed my teeth or hair, my hair is all matted now and I’m scared to even attempt to brush it incase it falls out. I’ve started smoking again, and even though it makes me feel sick and nauseous I force myself to do it and I don’t know why. I have so much self hate right now.