It’s been one week since finding out about my mmc. I removed Facebook from my phone to get away.. My phone addiction has taking refuge in Glow and Dr. Google. I keep circle back on chromosomal, reduction of egg quality at 35... I can’t help and feel like every second counts now. Have I doomed my chances at that family of two.. I have a doctors appt tomorrow to see how everything went last week and all I want to ask is. Should I have genetic testing.. retrieve eggs.. should I be on meds? What about maternal fetal medicine doctors.. Is that me now?

My best friend is a wise philosopher and surgeon. She says maybe the time was just not right, but don’t give up. That if I had not starting TTC at 32 and tried earlier I would not have the light of my life my son. Everything happens when it happens.. I hear her, but that self doubt and anger at myself is strong this week.