I can remember that when I was young mom was a single mother and we lived in apartments near Carrie (my older sister) in my memory I can remember in detail what it looked like I was probably 6 or 7. My mom fell pregnant with my baby sister. She got married to my little sisters father. So me and my brother and sister at the time moved into a house they had bought. It was a little bit after my sister was born that he started rapping me. I guess mom would leave us while she went to the store or something not very sure all I know is I was home alone with him he would call me his pretty angel or the most beautiful girl he ever saw. Then would have me go into the bedroom with him and the next thing I remember is that I was laying on my back and he had his penis in me. Until I guess he was done but I remember one time that he was ejectalating and I saw it and asked why it came out as I was so young and didn't understand what was happening. I think it lasted till I was 10 or 11. I'm not sure cause I can't remember much from my childhood. I remember one day he had me looking at his butthole after he was done rapping me and my mom walked in most of the stuff I remember is when I was a teenager even then was only bits and pieces of it. I know my mom had asked alot if he touched me and I told her no cause I was scared I was going to get in trouble for what HE did to me. Because of what happened to me I would starve myself at one point I was so weak I passed out. I would eat a piece or two of toast in the afternoon and a little bit at dinner and then nothing the rest of the time. I was tiny till I got my first job at Wendy's. So I started eating more and gained weight so I started cutting myself I sometimes still do it I have not in at least one year. I don't eat properly not I don't eat breakfast and I eat lunch and dinner during the week. On most Saturdays I don't eat lunch cause my husband is at work and most Sundays I only eat one time that day. I remember getting my first and second bf and when we started getting close I ended it the longest relationship I was in was 8 months but I never loved them. I sometimes struggle having sex. I can't sleep on my back at all if I lay on my back it feels like I'm gasping for air and like there is a 10 pound bag of bricks on my chest. I can sometimes lay on my back on the couch without feeling like that. So I have to lay on my side and belly.