My mental state is declining.

I’m always at home, I have no where else to go.

I’m avoiding unhealthy foods, drinking plenty of water, and trying to choose the best food options possible.

I try to exercise, I do.

But whenever I look in the mirror, I want to cry.

I’ve lost weight since last year and the year before that, but my biggest fear is gaining it back.

I have more to lose, but idk how.

If I’m fat, I’m unwanted. I’m not body shaming anybody, but I speak from experience. I am unwanted.

Everyone thinks I’m older than I am.

I want to be normal, and look like the people my age. Smaller. I want things to be simpler, not so fricking difficult.

I’ve had trouble sleeping.

My few friends don’t care anymore.

I tried to hurt myself.

I smiled and said I was fine at a Youth Group I go too.

No one truly cares.

“Just take a pill, just be happy, just smile, just stop being depressed.”

The words of someone I thought I could trust with my hardships I’m going through.

Am I being dramatic? I’m not the only one, people have it worse.

But how do I make myself feel better when all I am feeling is a heavy, sedentary weight on my shoulders.

Help.