Fight for the love or let it go?

Me and my ex argued alot sometimes. We’d be good for awhile and then we’d be bad for a little while. There were problems with us, but a lot were kinda from me. But my problems were basically trust issues in a way. But he would do things that made him seemed suspicious and it just always stuck with me and made me wonder if he was talking to somebody else or looking for somebody else. I never thought he would cheat on me. I know that’s not something he would do. I guess I just needed reassurance every now and then. Like to know I’m the only girl and wanted to feel special and know I made him happy. He would be suspicious sometimes though. And when I would explain things to him about why I was upset, he wouldn’t understand. He wouldn’t really fix the problems. He would just flip and say “oh am I being suspicious again” “are you going to interrogate me again” and stuff. He would just instantly go to that and say “I’ll add this to the list of things I do wrong” “I’m sorry I’m a horrible boyfriend” and stuff. It’s like he always takes me explaining why I was upset as me bashing him. But like he would be suspicious to me sometimes because like on New Years he uploaded a pic of us and then the next morning it was deleted. He never wanted to upload anything of me. He had girls blocked from his snap story one time and it was every girl he would talk to every now and then. I’ve gone through his phone before we were dating and saw he was messaging girls on tinder. He explained his reasonings behind everything and I trusted him, but it was just always something coming up that was weird. And like all the stuff just kinda stuck with me and led me to constantly questioning him. Like who he was messaging and everything. And I know that was annoying and eventually I finally stopped like a couple weeks ago. But like last week he would randomly stop replying to me like 3-4 days in a row. He’d be texting me and everything would be fine. He didn’t say he was tired or anything and he wouldn’t reply for hours or until the next day saying he fell asleep. I believed him. I didn’t think anything of it. It just made me upset when we hadn’t spoken for awhile. So that kinda made me upset and made me kinda act like a bitch towards him recently. Then the other night when he posted everybody on his story. I was like wow you posted all the important people in your life but your girlfriend. I wasn’t mad about it. It just made me upset. He said he didn’t find anything funny of me and I was fine with that. It’s just you know I wanted to feel special every now and then. He didn’t want to post me on anything unless he knew we were going to last. Which I understand. It made me upset for awhile until recently. I care about him a lot. I don’t want him out of my life. I would never block him out of my life. I want a relationship with him but I know he’s done now and I’m not really trying to fight for it anymore because I always do. I don’t think we’re unhealthy for each other. I think we we’re good for each other. I think we both just wouldn’t really understand the other sometimes. His actions sometimes would make me act differently towards him. Which led him to act a certain way towards me and it was just a cycle. He says he doesn’t know how relationships work and he doesn’t know what love is and stuff. But like he can sit there and call me his bestfriend and thank me for being there for him when he needed somebody and for teaching him things and stuff. He says he doesn’t want to lose me and he cares a lot about me. And I’m just like that’s what a relationship is. You build each other up. You’re there for them. You want them in your life. They’re somebody that keeps you moving everyday. They’re somebody you want to go to when times are hard. I just feel like he doesn’t listen when I try to explain myself to him. Like before we broke up I explained why I feel like we’ve been acting how we have towards each other and he just wouldn’t listen. I explained how his actions would bother me and make me upset. I told him that I know me constantly questioning was annoying and tiring and that I know I should’ve never did that but I told him why I felt the need to. When we first started dating things were great for awhile and then it started falling off the more he began to act weird. While I did mess up by holding onto some things which led to bigger issues, I don’t think it was completely wrong for me. Anybody would feel off if their s/o was doing strange things. Even if they did trust them, they would start questioning if they were making them happy enough or if somebody else was or anything. I honestly don’t think our relationship issues were that a big of a deal. While they were unhealthy, I think me and him both needed to just actually understand the others point of view. To actually listen and understand and agree that one or the other or both were in the wrong. I believe the issues were fixable. But I can also understand how me constantly questioning him was annoying the hell out of him and pushing him to his limit. It’s just everytime I tried to explain my hurt, he wouldn’t listen. I just wanted reassurance. I agree I was childish about a few things. Such as getting upset that he wouldn’t post me, it’s just I guess I wanted to feel special. I realized that a lot of couples don’t post their s/o right away and I regret letting that hold me down to cause more issues. I was in the wrong a lot. I would get upset if he was talking to another girl or liking a girls picture. And then I look back and realize how dumb I was for that. I look and see how many other happy couples there are where their s/o likes the opposite sex pictures or talks to the opposite sex and they didn’t mind it. I knew things were starting to go down hill for awhile because it started hurting me and it takes a lot to push me to the limit with somebody I like. But I realized it was going down hill and tried to figure out if I did overreact a lot. And I realized I did over literally everything that had to deal with another female. It just sucks because I always realize things too late and then he’s done and I can’t change anything. And it’s annoying with me because I’ll say I’ll change but then I start acting dumb again. But it will be over something new. It just sucks because I know he’s done this time and he doesn’t want to listen to anything I have to say because it’s what I always do. He’ll leave and then I finally open up about something. But I kinda feel like this situation is different in a way with us this time. Before I believe we were completely unhealthy. But when we actually started dating things were so much better and I was so happy with him. We were doing so good until we started hitting some bumps and we just never really resolved the problems so they just kept getting worse. It’s just I know the only problems this time were me trusting him and that causing him to push him to his limits. I just wish he realized that his actions kinda would make somebody wonder sometimes. I think me and him both just need to open our eyes. I honestly do believe that we are for each other. I just think we’re both still figuring each other out and our feelings and that we weren’t really communicating them with each other the right way. Something keeps drawing us back to each other for a reason. We’re meant to be I believe. We’re just still figuring out each other and not communicating correctly with each other in situations where we should be.