I found out I was pregnant mid November and due July 22,2019 with my second. My husband and I literally just started trying and we were over the moon! My HG symptoms showed their ugly face around the 6 week mark. I had my 7 +2 week Ultrasound (went alone) and they couldn’t see baby and thought maybe I ovulated late and booked me back for 2 weeks later. I had a strange feeling from then something wasn’t right, but eventually convinced myself that late ovulation really could have been the cause.. even though I was initially certain it couldn’t have been. My HG symptoms continued and worsened and I was so sick and just starting a new job! I went back for my 9 +3 week ultrasound alone again and the tech was being weird, I knew immediately something was wrong. She left the prob in me and said she needed to leave to get a better look at her photos which I knew was bogus and she was getting the radiologist. They came back tissue box in hand and gave me the news that baby never grew. They never showed me or gave me views of the screen to help me physically see there was nothing. They apologized and left. I was a wreck!! I saw my doctor later who again apologized and referred me to an early loss program. I was given my options of waiting for natural miscarriage or taking misoprostol. D&C is not practiced unless emergent or farther along. Due to the Christmas holiday I chose misoprostol just after christmas. What I later found out from the clinic after thinking not a since visible thing grew was that there was a 4mm grow between the two ultrasounds. My little bean tried and I was heartbroken nobody at least gave me the chance to see the ultrasound image. On Dec 27th, at 10+3 I miscarried. For the last 3 weeks the emotions have been so mixed. I generally feel fine most days with work and caring for my sweet girl(15months), but then I hear of someone whose pregnant and I’ve been invited to gender reveals and showers and though I don’t show it, I’m beyond mad from jealousy. I would never wish what happened to me, happen to anyone else.. but I can’t shake the anger. I feel jealous and sad that they get to bask in those moments while I’m left empty and I know that’s wrong and unfair of me. I’m dreading my future due date and how I’ll feel knowing that I’ll never get to meet my little darling come summer. I burst out crying in quiet times very randomly and know I’m not ok. I will be going to see my postpartum psychologist shortly. I guess what I’m wondering is.. how long did it take for you to feel a semblance of normal where you felt happy for others beautiful news again? If you made it this far, thanks for reading! 💕 Sending so much love and big hugs to all of you mommas who have been through this.