My boyfriend and I have been talking for a year and dating a little under that. We were great the whole time. But the last few weeks he’s been distant. He finally tells me three months into talking to me he had sex with a girl he was talking to before me. She got pregnant and has just had his baby. He says he was so scared to tell me. He basically ends up leaving me letting me know that he knows I wouldn’t want to stay with him and he broke my heart etc. so he made MY choice for me. I was to hurt to fight. So I let him go cuz I just thought that’s what he wanted and fine. But then four days later I found out I’m pregnant. So I’m torn. Because this whole time me and him were together we wanted kids one day. So it’s like wow now I have a baby on the way but he already has a baby. I feel like I’m always put second. So I blocked him and everything when all this first happened. So I just drive up to his house to let him know I was pregnant. I do and after a long conversation he says he wants to keep it. But at this point I’m so hurt I don’t know what to do. Then he hits me with he still wants to be with me he was just scared of what I would do cuz he “just knew” I would leave him after he told me. I hate to feel like THAT GIRL that just don’t leave a man cuz of all the fluff he tells her. But he was a good man to me and his family and friends. He has just made a HUGE mistake. I’m not saying he’s forgiven or defending him in any way. But sometimes you just can feel it in your heart that people make honest mistakes. But I need some strength. I feel like I can fix all of this with an abortion. I DONT WANT TO! But it feels like at this point it’s my only option. Cuz sometimes it’s just not the right time. I never wanted to be a single mom (not that it’s a bad thing I just never strives for it) even though he says he wants us to be together and will do the counseling etc. But idk if I could come back with him just for the sake of a baby. He wants the baby. I don’t know what I want cuz I’m overloaded with horrible news. A part of me just wants to end my own life because I’ve failed myself and my family. I did everything I needed to do. Asked all the questions and l still didn’t get it right. My family put a lot of pressure on me as I was growing up anyways and made sure to let me and my brother know they don’t want grandkids. And now I have a baby with a man that has a newborn with another woman while we were talking/dating. Idk how to tell them I’ve failed them. Ladies don’t hold back. I already feel like shit and have pretty much sunken to that dark place. But I believe that someone could help me figure out what I could or should do.