Body Shamed For Life

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I need advice..well really I just need to talk to someone. Hopefully someone who has survived what I’ve gone through. I am 21 years old and have been body shamed my entire life. From the age of 15 I have been depressed. I am tired of everything. The shaming. The anger. The sadness. I want to feel nothing. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t wanna die but I don’t wanna be alive...I want to disappear. Anyone else has been body shamed till massive depression?