So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. We have a very happy relationship and balance each other out perfectly. But the other day we came across an issue that I can’t get a straight answer out of him.

Now let me start off by saying, I don’t want to leave him. I want to work on this and I need helpful suggestions on a possible move to come to a solution.

He has a disorder that makes his entire life feel like he’s living in a movie. It’s depersonalization disorder. His has become chronic and he hasn’t been able to fix it in the past with treatment (last treatment was in 2014). And I have major depressive disorder and severe generalized anxiety. So we balance out in that I feel too much and he lacks the ability to feel a lot of different emotional ranges.

We have been staying together since October of 2018. The other night he told me that I need to go back and live at home. (We have been house sitting for his parents) and I told him that’s not a problem and I will go home. But what brings this up so suddenly? He told me that he’s feeling very overwhelmed with the amount of people now staying with him. His best friend recently got kicked out of his living situation and moved in temporarily. This has happened before where I’ve gone back to my moms with no questions asked. But this time I had a serious question that I felt the need to ask. What happens when we are married and we have no where to go because we are now living together full time? And he told me he doesn’t know. And his solution is to be like his dad who isolates himself in the basement of the house for days at a time. Yes his parents have been married for 40 years, but they are also the type that doesn’t believe in divorce (props to them ps.) His parents relationship is honestly sad. And that’s not how I want to spend my marriage. He has continued to avoid this situation for days now. And he’s really starting to irritate me. I feel it was a valid question. And he tells me that he will just make sacrifices and isolate in a different area of the house.

I want to know if there’s anything I can do to make it so he doesn’t feel as overwhelmed and work to where this isn’t an issue. But I don’t know where to start. This makes me fear the future and the idea of what happens when this happens again and we are stuck.

I’m already seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist for my issues and he is not.

So now I’m asking. What should I do now?

Update:

I figured I should just buck up and talk about what was going through my mind. We have decided to do some research on our own to see how we can both understand the disorder. So far, it’s going great. We’ve both learned new symptoms that he has that also correlate to the disorder. We are working on communication to try and work through these issues before they blow up into big deals. Thank you all for your input. It’s been very helpful. We are still learning how to respect each others needs and how to deal with them in a healthy way.