Last year I had my third child, my partners first. He cheated on me with a coworker when our kid was 4 months old. We agreed to move past it for our own reasons. I let it go.

We had many arguments throughout the year, many that almost ended us as a couple. We kept on going, talked and worked through all the issues. Each time we would argue or get I to it my partner knew exactly what to say to really hurt me including

You’re not worth all of this shit

I don’t love you anymore

You’re cold (I wasn’t but when he started fights he thought we could just fuck and make up even if it was still on my mind)

I could have anyone I wanted why did I chose you

Compare me to others

I still stupidly stayed bc I knew he was a difficult guy/he had a rough childhood. So did I but I never treated others with disrespect especially him.

Now here we are, things have settled, it is a new year. He says he loves me “so much” and I love him too but not like before. I no longer worship him like I used to. I feel lonely all the time, even when he is around. I’m depressed and just want to move on and would rather be alone even tho things have calmed down.

I just needed to get that off my chest