Hello everyone soo I just got out of a 4 year relationship....

We were trying to work things out but we can’t get along. He cheated and after we broke up he jumped in a rebound relationship and started screwing This other girl. While he was doing that he was trying to work it out with me at the same time. I said NO I’m not an option. We fought last time I know not healthy. So he said he was over it and he’s leaving and he can no longer hold on to me and I agreed.

So today he texted me hey. I DIDNT text him back as much as I wanted to. I wanted to so bad I love him so much but for us to get better we have to have time apart no contact whatsoever. I want him to miss me and I want to miss him and not feel resentful towards him for what he did. I need to let him go to be able to get better with him. I want to love him like I did once before. I want him to love me like he once before. We have a 17 month old together. We been broken up for 9 months and it’s so hard for both of us just to leave each other alone completely and just move on.

I know you guys are like he has a new girl hes having sex with. Founds out she was really just a rebound. Mind you we weren’t together. He would talk to her about our problems and such. She wants to be with him but he doesn’t. But who knows ... I won’t get back to him until I know our feelings are secure with each other. When I’m no longer mad at him, when I can look at him like I did before, when I don’t feel insecure when I’m around him. I want to work on my self love and my mental health. Yes of course I would love to have my family back like NOW. But right now I’m 21 I’m young and I want to live. I don’t even want to be in a relationship right now specially when I know when I look at him I always think of him and these other girls. Like how did he act with them? And so on. We both know where are hearts are at if it’s meant to be it will happen! I have a kid with him, meaning I have a lifetime with him. Either together or not . It took a lot out of me to finally say NO and walk away! It hurts but it’s best for the both of us. As of right now we just can’t be together.

I just don’t know what to do? It’s like I’ve become so comfortable with him it’s crazy.