Anxious about new pregnancy

I miscarried my first pregnancy in August 2018. Now we are pregnant again, going for our first ultrasound tomorrow and I am an emotional wreck. With the last pregnancy it was a missed miscarriage and I went in for the 12 week ultrasound to be told there was no heartbeat. I had a d&c that week.

I thought I was better, but I cry everyday asking God not to make me go through another loss. I don’t even want to go to my appointment tomorrow, I would rather play dumb and not know. I keep convincing myself my symptoms are gone and this one won’t work either.

Anyone have any advice on how to move forward and be happy about this pregnancy?