Long post but please read if you have time. I would really appreciate some advice!

We’ve been married for 2 months now. We dated for a year and a half. Past 3 days were extremely stressful for me.

I had something important work that needed to get done on Saturday which I was stressed out about.

We’ve been TTC so I’ve told him to drink less. He drank too much Friday night and was hungover and throwing up all day Saturday.

While working on the documentation and I was attending to his needs making sure he was hydrated and cooking him breakfast he ended up taking one bite off coz he felt sick. He was sleeping ALL day.

Around 11:30 I asked him to go with me to the store to since I had been super stressed I just needed him to be with me. I felt bad asking him to go but I do feel like I always am the understanding one. This was one important thing for me. He just said “I’m not going I’m sick” turned around and went to sleep. I asked him nicely a few times explaining it’d help me if he went with me he kept being a dick. He covered his face with the blanket and stopped responding. I left the room and cried. I came back asked again. He kept acting like a jerk but went with me.

I was upset because I always give and when it’s time for him to give back he acts like a jerk. I’m left with no choice. There’s no room to work things out for both of us if he’s just being verbally abusive.

Fast forward, at night I wanted to hangout and not watch tv. We do that all the time. He doesn’t really ask me about anything. He’ll ask once how my day was.. there’s not really a conversation. I feel like I have to force it and obviously he only responds and acts like he has to sit and listen. I expect to relax and de stress by talking things out.

He walked away saying “I’m not doing this I’m going to sleep”. I have a two hour commute to work each way because I moved in with him. I have a townhouse I bought last year and have to rent it out now because he didn’t want to move close to me. Now I am looking for a new job closer to home.

I just feel I’m always giving and the one putting in all the effort. He is very disrespectful when he gets frustrated.

I only asked to hangout with me. He acts like a jerk and pushes my buttons and puts me at fault coz I lose my cool. He says things like I’m a psycho bipolar bitch cunt and what not. Ive been divorced 2 years ago. Same story. I know I get pushy and demand things but I have done a lot for us to make things work than him doing anything.

He says if I ask nicely he will listen. It’s not working. He’s been a jerk and insulting after asking nicely a couple times. I have no choice but to feel bad and cry or force him to hang out? When he was walking away I was getting in the way. I got angry coz he starts getting abusive. I lose my cool. He lifted me up a foot off the ground by grabbing me by my neck.

Sunday was same thing.

Today on Monday he crossed the line. I asked him if he could take our dog for a bath since it was his day off and I was working from home. “I’m not taking your stupid dog for a bath it’s my day off I want to relax”. I just do a lot of shit for him so I tend to get angry when he acts like an asshole. Just the way he says it pissed me off not the fact that he doesn’t want to go. He walked away and again hid his face in the blanket saying he doesn’t want to do this again. I said let’s start over again.. I literally tried 20 times to ask him to not argue and just get up and hug it out. Forget about the dog bath or anything. I was trying to pulling the blanked off while controlling my tone. I didn’t want to fight. It took every ounce of patience in me to make an effort to not fight. He was being a jerk and started laughing in my face. I threw the remote in the corner. I tent to throw things when I’m pissed off. I was on top him so he pushed me back. I screamed coz I thought I was going to fall off the bed. It’s pretty high bed. He saw that I was still on the bed and kicked me off of it. Said he was going to leave.

I am afraid that I might have made a mistake again. I’m afraid the next time he might punch me in the face. I’m afraid there might be something wrong with me. I am from a different country, all my family is at least a 24 hour flight away so I never share any problems with them. I don’t want to stress them out. This is also another reason why I dragged my previous marriage on for 3 years until they found out he was abusive as well.

he doesn’t feel the need to put in an effort to build our marriage. He’s nice in general but he’s a jerk when I say something he doesn’t want to hear. He is 30 I’m 33. He lived in his parents basement until we talked about moving in. He kicked me off coz he was pissed off I might have damaged his fan remote. He said he would do it again if I threw something else.

I’m physically sore today. My entire body is in pain.

Is it my fault I expect him to act mature? I know I’m not perfect but I’m shit scared about what to do. I haven’t rented my house out yet. It’s heartbreaking to see him care about his remote when I abandoned my house for him.