Dreading the newborn stage

I am 8 weeks pregnant with baby #2, but this is my 5th pregnancy. We were told we could never have kids naturally, and so far they've both been natural. I should be over the moon, but I can't get past my dread of the newborn stage. I had awful PPD with my son, but had TONS of support from family. Last year we moved across the country, and am now 24 hours away from family. I'm terrified of having PPD again. Even with family and meds, I barely made it through the first 12 weeks. Does anyone have any words of encouragement? Anyone have PPD with their first, but not second? I'm so scared, and feeling guilty for not being excited.