I’m exactly 12 weeks today. I want to be happy but instead I’m laying in bed with my eyes swollen and puffy, nauseous, confused, and hurt. My boyfriend recently left for an internship in another state. Since he’s been gone, things have been extremely difficult. Our relationship has gone downhill, but I couldn’t just give up because I love him so much and we have this beautiful baby on the way.

His parents refuse to be supportive because we’re 20 years old and in college, and they think it’s absurd to be having a child. His... excuse my language.. b*tch of a mother has done and said awful, disgusting things since she found out, such as telling him to write a check and get out, and giving him a box of condoms when he moved away.

Last night, he told me that he should have told me to have an abortion or he was out. He calls our baby a bad decision, and a mistake. He told me to have an abortion, that I’m not going to be a good mom, and sat here just saying hurtful things for hours. He said that he’s felt this way all along and that I made the decision for both of us. He was back and forth at first, but at the end of the day this is what he said he wanted. I remember him picking me up and spinning me around when I came running out of the bathroom with a positive test. I remember the smile on his face when he told others, like his friends and a counselor we were seeing. I remember how he looked at the baby in the ultrasounds, and how many questions he asked. He never stopped asking questions and showing so much concern for this baby. I remember him kissing my tummy and talking to our little creation inside. And it just doesn’t make sense to me... how could he do all that and now say these things? :’(

We recently got engaged, although not many people know about it yet. I love my fiancé. And I love my baby. And now I’m so lost and confused and I don’t know what to do anymore 😭