Feeling pretty sad today. I'm getting closer to the day my daughter was supposed to be born.

My daughter was supposed to be due on Valentine's day but she came early on Oct 15th 2018 . And all I do is blame myself and the doctors because I felt I didn't do enough and neither did they.

My daughter's heart beated for over 2 hours we kept asking them if they could try something, anything . And they said they can't because she was only 22 weeks and 4 days.

It breaks me. I wonder what if..

I wonder what she would be like right now if she would have lived. If they would have done something. Or if she would have stayed inside me until her due date. I blame myself because I could have done better. And i know it's not my fault but still...

Just ranting bc I don't have anyone to talk to. I try to not think about her or talk about her because if I do I just break down.