I don’t even know how to say this. During sex my husband does a lot of things that I don’t think are supposed to happen. He’s been this way since the first time we had sex, before we were married. I knew he was this way but it has gotten so much more intense. I’m embarrassed to write these things. A lot of it is just the things he says while he’s having sex with me. He says I’m a stupid bitch, and a slut and other things. The way he says it, it seems like he hates me. He does things that hurt/make it hard to breathe and one thing he always says is to look at him while he’s doing it. I guess it’s just the physical aspect, weather it’s my body or my mouth, and he’s being really rough and then the things he is saying during this and then looking him in the eyes during all of this and most times I start crying really hard. It’s the physical plus the way he hurts my feelings is too much to process and I lose it every time. Im so embarrassed that I can’t keep myself together. I don’t feel like I’m part of the sex anymore. It feels like Im not even real like I’m some container that he chooses which part to cum into everyday. I know he could have someone much much better than me. I see the kind of women who get his attention and I see the way they look at him too.

Has anyone else ever gone through something similar and been able to turn things around? I thought once we got married things would be calmer but they seem to have gotten worse.