Earlier today I got in a fight with my boyfriend because I asked him for his phone to text my mom, (my phone was left at home) he said ok, but was being weird about it like hesitating to give it to me.. so I go on his messages and I see there’s messages from Neil. (He’s a local heroine meth dealer)

After that I was questioning him that why were his notifications muted.. and he got all psycho on me for asking but I wanted to simply send a text and he hadn’t spoke to Neil in a long time (at least I thought) so we’re arguing about this and I told him if he was doing meth again he said it was my fault for being a shitty mom.. he said he wanted to commit suicide and everything was my fault. He said some hurtful things all I was trying to do was make him snap that drugs aren’t good and he can’t be around our daughter while being on drugs and he started threatening to take her from me I didn’t give him his phone back and I went on his search history

That’s everything he was searching for. He hurt my feelings I had never seen him blow up and now I’m questioning how many times he’s been all drugged out while watching our daughter. He does have some crackhead friends who have done stupid shit for drugs and one will take his 5yr old daughter on “missions” to get his fix and I’m scared of what’s been going on when I’m at work I doubt he would do something like that but then again I never know. Idk what to do I’m at a loss here