UPDATE: I told my mom! She wasn’t super happy at first because of the app and age difference parts of it. But she basically said she doesn’t mind me going out with him if she can meet him first and whatnot. So we’ll see if he wants to go through all that and doesn’t get scared away first. 😂

I have to post here because I have no friends and nobody to spill to but god I need to spill.

I left an unhealthy relationship back in March, and haven’t really gotten out there since then in terms of meeting guys or even being interested in meeting guys. But the other day I met this guy on an app, not always the best way to meet someone I know, but holy fuck he’s amazing.

We’ve been texting nonstop for days, and he told me doesn’t ever text anyone as much as he’s texted me. He prefers talking on the phone, which I hate because I’m hella shy and awkward.

Just through texting I could tell he was an amazing person. He’s so fucking sweet and understanding about things in my past, he pumps me up so much and FREAKS over my selfies I send him which are literal shit 😂

Tonight I finally gave in and talked to him on the phone, for like 2 hours. I haven’t smiled so much in years, nobody’s ever made me feel so amazing and so special and lifted me up as much as he did. He kept telling me how much potential I have and how I can do anything because I have the wits and the means and the capability. He made me feel like I could conquer the fucking world. Something I am NOT used to as nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before.

And he kept on about how gorgeous he thinks I am, thank god he couldn’t see me because I’m positive I turned a new shade of red and was smiling like a complete moron. I’m not used to that either, the 4 years I was with my ex he told me I was pretty maybe twice. So I have no idea how to take a compliment and just go stupid.

He wants to take me out so bad, he wouldn’t shut up about how bad he wants to just take me out and eat tacos and drink margaritas and get to know each other more and just have fun spending time together. And I want to SO bad.

But the problem is, I live with my mom again since I left my ex. Her and my stepdad are really weird about me and guys because of my past, and I have no idea how to bring it up. I don’t have my own car yet, I’m saving for one. So he’d have to pick me up and they’d wanna meet him, at the very least my mom would want to. But I’ve met guys online before and my mom absolutely hates it, I feel like if I tell her that she’ll immediately get pissed. She won’t tell me no because I’m an adult but it’ll put a kink in our relationship. So I’m not sure how to go about telling her I wanna go somewhere with this guy.

Also, I’m 22 and he’s 31. I don’t have a problem with that but I feel like she might. Again she won’t say no but it might affect our relationship and I don’t want that. All she’s wanted since I left my ex was for me to find a good guy but I’m so scared to even mention a guy to her because of what she might think. I don’t want any negative comments about it, I’m sure people who had strict parents growing up will understand. And even though I’m an adult now, I’m back in her house so it’s a respect thing basically. I just don’t know how to approach this but I really want to go out with him and see how things go. 😭