I thought getting pregnant would help allay some of my jealous feelings, like he is finally “all mine” now, but I still fight the green eyed monster every day!

His ex might be a perfectly nice person but when I find her stuff around the house, or find he’s been communicating with her, I get a rush of nausea and helplessness. It physically hurts. I am constantly comparing myself to her (she’s thinner and prettier and more successful in our common field) and I come up short. I know he loves me. I know he isn’t going back to her and their relationship is over. She is an ex for a reason...but I also know their break up after 15 years tore him up, he obviously really loved her and put up with a lot. That weighs on me.

She was still a fixture in his life when I came along. While moving I came across many old letters and cards, stuff he had put in a box in the closet and hopefully wasn’t sentimental over still, and I think I traumatized myself by reading them. I learned they had gone on vacations together after their break up, even to where their honeymoon occurred. He flew to visit her when she briefly moved to another state. She lived in his guest room when she was between places. They texted and called and I just felt like they weren’t through with each other.

There was a recent post about an ex getting a $9000 ring (yikes!) and the new fiancé worried about the price of her ring. I kind of empathized with her—that gut feeling of “he likes her more and would treat her better” gets to me. I don’t care how much he spends on me, but I do worry about how much he might like her more...even though it’s totally irrational!

I know it’s not attractive and is detrimental to our relationship. That it is all me, not my boyfriend, but I don’t know how to fix it. How do you STOP jealousy? My hormones are not helping but I can’t blame this on the pregnancy because these feelings started months before we conceived. I just need advice on how to change and overcome this.