One of my friends I grew up with died early this morning. I don’t know where else to turn to talk about how I feel.

He had a daughter (can’t be more than 2-4 years old)

But he lead a bad path that ended in him ending his life.

I didn’t cry about it and I feel bad...because my heart does feel strongly for him, I’ve just never known how to deal with death. Growing up I’ve always been the type that never cried or felt anything but numb during funerals for loved ones or even other friends. (I’m 17 but a while back a friend died in a car crash when we were 9... a lot of people in my family are older so they are dying off too)

Is dealing with death this way normal? I don’t want to be like rude or anything because I can’t exactly express pain.