I know this is very long but here is a short version of my birth story and maybe it will help someone! Being a FTM it was definitely not what I planned!!

On December 30th, 2018 I didn't know it that day but my life was about to change forever. I never imagined I would one day be patiently waiting for you and the next not knowing if you would live. It seemed like a typical day relaxing, well trying, and watching a show. For the previous days I had what I thought to be Braxton hicks, which I think they were. The Friday before you were born I knew something was wrong, just a gut feeling so me and daddy went to get you checked out.

(A little back story) I was having constant contractions that never seemed to go away my stomach was always hard to the point where I didn't feel you moving for a while, which is why I went in that Friday.

When we were there they could see I was indeed having a lot of Braxton hicks, your heart rate was a little high so they monitored you. Soon we left and were told everything was fine! Looking back I wish I would have pushed to get an ultrasound.

December 30th... I went to the bathroom and felt like I had to poop but instead of poop my water broke!!!! Or so I thought! In shock I called your daddy and his immediate reaction he thought I was messing with him! I told him I was serious and soon we realized something was wrong. There was blood. Not a little a LOT! It filled the toilet and when I tried to get up to start heading to the hospital a maxi pad was soaked with blood within seconds ... and then another... back onto another toilet down the hall, fill that too with blood. In a panic we called 911 and we laid towels down on our bexd and I laid there crying... worrying.... not knowing what was going on or if you were ok.

Daddy was not allowed in the ambulance so I was alone to think the worse on the way to the hospital. We arrived and daddy was not wasting any time! He got there at the exact same time💜

On arrival I was checked, I was only 2cm but I was losing a lot of blood and you were ok thank god but you had to come out that minute!!

You were born emergency csection and I was put under general anesthesia. Diagnosis was placenta abruption.

Daddy was not able to be in the room... I have little knowledge of what went on that night but all I know is I have you💜

I may not hold the memories of listening to your first cries or the immediate skin to skin or even seeing your daddy's face when he first saw you BUT what I do have is YOU and that is all I could ever ask for💜

UPDATE:

Wow I never expected so many people to comment on my post! I feel like I never have any time since in soaking in all these moments with my sweet baby, sorry for not getting to everyone! You all are so sweet though Thank you so much for your kind words!!(:

Heres Harper in her little outfit that she FINALLY, sort of, fits into! She's in newborn clothing but some 0-3 month clothes fit(:

She loves going on walks(: