Sad news

After 4 years and 3 miscarriage. I feel that the person I call my self in love with I thinking it's really over. I don't know how to take this because last year my son father kill himself and it hit me hard. My son always ask me why he do that and I really don't know what to say. I am going to just give up on everything at this point. Just be around my son and help him become a better person. Love him and let him know that i would always love him, my son brings me joy. He tell me every hour he love me and tell me that I am beautiful. He is only 6. But hey if I can't have any more kids, then I would always have him. So I am saying I would stop trying for now and just move on with my son. I just wanted a bigger family