Bf & I have been living together for three years. We are raising his child from a previous marriage.

In the beginning I overlooked red flags and signs because I became attached to the child but now I feel like I am a single parent raising two children. I have no biological children of my own.

I was raised in a multigenerational home where we all worked together to make a dwelling a home. Bf feels like I should have no issue working full time and still getting up early to make breakfast, go to work, coming home to cook, clean, do laundry etc, and be a parent alone while he is off working. They do not pick up after themselves at all, clean anything to completion or feel obligated to help when I am doing anything or if I have to travel for work two weeks at a time.

When I tell the child to do anything in the realm of personal hygiene, chores, or about homework, I am lied to, ignored or reported to the biological parent that I am mean and the child doesn’t like me.

My bf feels like I am being dramatic & ungrateful and selfish for wanting him to support my efforts or back me up when his child has issues with discipline or flat out lies about our interactions with his entire family, which causes them to yell, criticize me and disrespect me & my efforts.

His family only gets involved when they care to be bothered. He has even accused me of having a problem with the child and refuses to acknowledge his parenting style or lack thereof in some cases. I can’t talk to him about anything without him acting like I am not doing enough. When I act, I am chastised, when I say or do nothing that deviates from his style, I’m accused of not caring and being immature.

I am tired of trying to help and pick up other’s messes only to be criticized as if it’s my mess I caused.

Any advice?