Step-parenting is killing me

Sierra

My husband and I have been married for 5 and a half years. His oldest daughter is 14. She’s always been with us 50% of the time. Last August, her mother packed up and moved to another state to be with her boyfriend of 2 months. 14 year old moved in with us full time.

I’ve been parenting her with my husband this whole time and her mom has seen her maybe 4 weekends since she moved. I take her to school, doctors, hair cuts, shopping. Feed, clothe etc this child. I have worked with her all school year to help her get on track in school. Last night she tells us that her and her mom have decided she’s going to move out of state to be with her mom. I am LIVID! My husband is calm and says if it’s what she wants then he isn’t going to stop her.

All I can think is how “mom” doesn’t parent much, if at all. Now mom is getting married next month and expects kiddo to come there this summer to live from now on. I’m flipping out about how this kid is going to go with her mom and not have a stable environment to finish high school etc. Also, the fact that she’ll be HOURS away means my husband will only get to see her every other weekend at most. Although he won’t admit it I know that bothers him. I don’t know what to think or say anymore. I want to make her stay. I’m so scared this kid is making the wrong choice and is going to ruin her life.