Hi everyone,

My boyfriend and I have been open to conceiving since October. I got a positive pregnancy test December 28th. January 8th I woke up to bleeding, had my HCG levels checked and a confirmed miscarriage on the 11th.

We were never planning, or trying super hard to conceive. When I got the positive, I was surprised it had happened so fast. A rush of emotions rushed through me in Such a short amount of days. I feel like I had time to think about everything, the joys and the fears. With mentally preparing myself with how much my life was going to change, I became more and more excited and in love with the little one already growing inside of me.

I was very sad for a good three days, cried and wouldn’t leave the house. I finally tried pulling myself out of my hole and accepted the fact that God is good, and everything happens at the right time.

Trying to go on about my life, enjoying my weekends occasionally with alcohol, drinking caffeine and going back to everything I was doing before pregnancy. But I feel so “blah” lately. Empty and anxious and not feeling like myself. Alcohol hasn’t been mixing with me like normal , I get angry or emotional about random stuff and have horrible empty feeling the next day.

I thought I have accepted what has happened , and grieved in my own way... but I’m confused on why I still feel like this.