I'll save you all the previous details. We have been up in the air for a week now. He said the other day he feels lost and broken and doesn't know why. The last two days we haven't talked and tonight was the end. He came home from work and asked if we were gonna talk I said idk i was trying to give you space because talking to you hadn't been working. I asked him what he wants to do and he said he doesn't feel connected to me anymore and can't keep pretending he's happy. And he doesn't want to keep going in the cycle of we're ok and then we're not. He is tired of trying. He said for me to stay in the house since I'm pregnant and due soon and he is going to stay somewhere else. I then asked him if he wants a divorce and all he said was do you wanna stay married to someone you're not living with.. I just said i didnt know if you wanted to step away and see where we are or if you were ready to divorce. He didn't answer. We put our child to bed and he packed some stuff and as he was leaving said for what it's worth I'm sorry.. I just don't know. I'm so numb and angry and hurt. I feel like i can't breath. I feel like I failed him and our children. He said there is no one else and I have every reason to believe that... I wanted so bad to scream and cry at him in anger and hurt. I wanted to stop him so bad. Get down on my knees and beg. I wanted to hold him and tell him how much i love him and I want to fix this.. And idk why I didn't. I just figured I guess he was hurting so much already and confused that he didn't need me messing his head up more. So I just sat here said I was sorry too and let him walk out the door, start his vehicle and drive away.. 😥 and now idk what to do. I'm just hoping I'll hear him pull in the drive and say it was a mistake. Or I'll wake up in the morning and it all just be a dream. We're not telling our families yet or our child. I don't have friends so i just needed to vent. Thank you to anyone who read

**update** for those asking about it being just a week, no it's been longer he says he's felt like this and he had been faking it and trying to make it work but it had just been this last week when he said that he met his breaking point i guess. I wish i would have saw the signs and prepared myself because I honestly thought we were happy and in love.. He also says he's not depressed and doesn't want to do counseling because he's been trying and just tired of it.. The reasoning I'm getting from him is he doesn't want to be married anymore. He said he really wanted to be and he tried to be but it's not for him and he can't. He said he's not wired to be married. He said it's not because he married the wrong person but he wasn't made to be a husband. He said it's nothing I did wrong. He didn't want to leave or for this to happen but he doesn't want to keep lying to me and that I deserve better. He feels like being with me isn't him and he can't force it. He said that when we got married, bought our house and tried for a baby that he wanted to be with me and he was happy but that we always seemed to be doing so good and then we'd end up right back to a rough part of not getting along and having to work at it. Which we always overcame in the past. He said marriage isn't suppose to be that much work for him and it told him something that we ended back up in a not so great state..

As for our children he's struggling really hard to tell our oldest and he's terrified of what it will do to her (she's six). He wants to be in their lives. And i want him to be too. He also said he wants to be in the room when our baby is born and help me and support me for the baby. Which im struggling so hard with that because I'm supposed to try to heal from this man destroying my world and here he is in the operating room ( have to have a c section due to my medical problems) when our baby is being born and it's going to be a hugely happy moment and im supposed to share that with him but not be sad that I'm not sharing it with my husband now, just the man I got pregnant by. I'm so confused about it. I'm going to be happy the baby is here but we were suppose to share it as husband and wife, as a family. I just don't know how to do it and not want more from him than just being my childrens father especially since he says he wants to be there and help me through the birth and taking her home and coming by to help so I can rest and help with the house and whatever he has to do. The baby was made from love and a marriage and now she's coming into this world into a broken family, it's so bitter and crushing because we tried almost 2 years for her... I'm moving back to my hometown close to my parents because I'll have to get a job and I'll need my mom to watch my kids since I have no money of my own since I've been a stay at home mom for the last few months.. He said he's going to pay for me to move and the house for me and my kiddos to live in. That he's going to help support them every way he can. He wants to see them as much as possible and doesn't want to go to court. He's been civil and actually kind. He wants to make it as easy on me as possible. I'd be lying if I said I'm ok because I'm not doing ok. I can't eat or sleep. And i know I have to for my baby. I'm really trying. I just don't know how to heal and not want him when I still have to communicate with him about our kids everyday and see him all the time still. I'm losing my best friend, I'm losing my house, my life and I have to crush my daughters heart when we tell her which needs to be soon because she's caught on to him staying somewhere else. I'm struggling so bad and I feel like I'll never recover. He said sorry and he wishes he was made to be a husband. And he's scared of starting over. He doesn't want to tell his family because of what they'll think/say/do. He has to sometime though. I don't know where to go from here. I'm so confused since He's told me in the past he could never live with out me and doesn't know what He'd do without me. And now he doesn't want me, 100% doesn't want to stayed married and the only feelings he has towards me is I'm the mother of his children. He's done trying because it's not the life for him. But I don't want to give up. I promised him hell or high water through anything. How do i give that up? How am I suppose to be ok? Raise my babies with him and not want him? I'm going to be as strong as I can for our kids but I'm falling apart. And I fear it will only get worse when the baby gets here. I never thought this would happen and I was completely blind sided by this. I truly thought he was happy and that we would and could get through anything.

**UPDATE 2** We have talked. He is still being civil and I'm trying to be as nice as possible for my kids. He told me that he doesn't know how long he has been unhappy and telling me sooner wouldn't have changed his mind. He said he was hurting because he was lying to me and lying to himself being with me. He didn't mean for it to come out now but he couldn't fake it any longer. That now that he has left me he doesn't hurt, isn't sad and he feels relieved we're not together. He said there's no chance he'll ever come back to me and that for me to hope he will would be a waste of my time. That was really hard to hear because here i am dying inside from losing this man and he's relieved it's over. He wants to divorce but says it can wait until the baby is here so I don't have another thing to worry about. I'm having a hard time emotionally and the stress is messing with my body. I started having cramps and sharp pains with light spotting and it's scaring me so bad. Doctor said to rest as much as possible. Which im trying but it's so hard to be ok right now and keep calm when all I want to do is fall apart. We told our oldest. She didn't take it well and is having a hard time understanding why we can't live together and be together. That's been the hardest. With him not living with us she's missing him terribly. He's calling and coming to see her whenever he can but it's so painful to know her world has been forever changed. She cries alot and won't go to sleep so now she's in bed with me. It makes me feel better too. We're going to be starting the process of moving and my daughter isn't happy about it and doesn't want to move but is glad we'll be close to my family. As for when the baby gets here he really wants to be in the room and there. I told him Idk if I can do that. Of course I want him to witness our child's birth but not with how we are. She was made from our love and idk how not to want that from him when she's born. Idk how to heal with him being there holding my hand and helping me in recovery and when she goes home and not want or think there is more there. He wasn't happy about what my thoughts are. I just don't think I can put my hurt from him aside and let him be there for me and get my hopes up and then be crushed again when I realise he wasn't there for me at all. I am so lost right now and I don't know where to go from here. I'm trying to be so strong for my children but I'm not. I feel like this hurt is consuming me and I can't function. How do I put it aside and find the will to be a good mother? I don't want to let my babies down.. Everyone says I'll heal as time goes on but it seems right now as time goes on its just going to get worse with moving and the baby and then I'll finally have to face a divorce to my husband, the man i promised my life and love to forever. I don't want to love again or find someone else. And I know now he'll never come back; this is set in stone. And that kills me. I don't want a new life especially since I was so happy with the one i had.

*update* he's been talking to someone else for almost a month and in talking to her he realized he wanted to be single so he cheated. He's super pissed i found out and isn't being as civil. I'm angry beyond words but at least i know the truth now