When I was in middle school I started babysitting for this little girl; I'll call her Sara. I think she was in kindergarten when I first met her. Over time I got close to her mom, who I will call Laura. I babysat for them very regularly, like a few times a week, but when I hit high school I was kicked out of my relatives house and I moved to a different state. I didn't see them for a while but I kept in contact with them. Coincidentally enough, her and her mom ended up moving to the same state and city as me. I started baby sitting for them again. Sara loved me, called me her big sister, and drew pictures for me all the time. She was a real sweet kid. At this point they were living with her moms bf, he is a really nice guy, but I started noticing issues in their home life. Her mom drank a lot. I had just started living with my S/o at this time, I had dropped out of highschool and was working a lot, and I was still babysitting Sara often. Laura started drinking to the point that she would either pass out or drunk ramble for the hours while I was their watching Sara and she stopped paying me. I still went despite this because I really cared about Sara.

December of 2017, me and my S/o spent Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> with them. Her mom was so drunk. I didn't know what to do, I tried to distract Sara from it and have a good night, but we ended up going home a bit early. After that i didn't see them for a few weeks. I made Laura BF promise to get Laura help. In 2018, I didn't see Laura at all, but I took Sara out a few times to eat. I had completely stopped babysitting. There was a lot going on in my life, I was in a court case against my abusive mother, I was studying for the GED, working multiple jobs, and figuring out how to be an adult. I couldn't handle her mom, and because of it I completely neglected Sara. She must of been about 8 or 9 at this point? Sara texted me a few times and I never responded.

Yesterday when I messaged her I asked if this was still her number. I wanted to see if I could see her and her mom for lunch. She messeged me back ”hi, how are you? Why don't you text me anymore?”

I feel so horrible. I have been abandoned so many times as a child, and I abandoned her, when she needed someone. I don't know what to say to her. I think she is 9 now. I don't how to feel. If any one can give me advise, please do.