This post belongs in the child loss section because that's where we put stories like mine.

We file them away. Away from the other mothers or the pregnant ones, or the ones who are trying to conceive because my story is just too unthinkable.

And now, three months later after I gave birth at 30 weeks 5 days and my beautiful daughter died after a botched intubation- I get my period. I so wanted to just get my "sun will be out tomorrow" pregnancy- the yes- what happened was awful. I'm so sorry, so here Taylor, I know you just want to hold your baby so *boom* here is another pregnancy.

It's unfair. I'm angry. I know I will try again next month, and the month after that, and I need to hope because that's what I have, but it is really really hard.