I’m sorry. Try to take time for yourself if you can. Your mental health is a priority too.

Hope you’re okay sending love

Hey girl! That is really hard and props for you for asking for help and trying! I have ADD, I'm not hyperactive but I've been there with the forgetting where I put things etc. I have a place for everything in my home now, which I know is hard with a toddler. But having space for my keys, my purse, my mail, helps a TON! It took a couple weeks to get in the habit but I did eventually. I also use Google assistant, constantly, for everything.I tell it to set reminders, like "remind me tomorrow at 3 I need to get gas before work". I ask it to remind me to make phone calls, pay my bills, I use it to make lists. It saves my ass constantly! I wear a watch always so I dont loose track of time, which I'm sure you're aware is a big problem for ADD. Like I wear a water proof one in the shower. I also have clocks everywhere! As far as meds go, I use this product from Perfect Keto.Its pricey, but it's nothing compared to what my meds cost me! Start him on 1/2 a scoop, helps it last longer and I get enough from it. I also HIGHLY recommend a workout routine for him, running, walking yoga whatever just an hour a day to burn his energy. I know it sounds like a lot of change but take it day by day and things will improve. You have for this!! Day by day Mama!

As someone with a husband who also has ADHD but was never put on medication (never formally diagnosed either, my in laws screwed him over SMH), I feel you. SO. MUCH. Give him time to clock out and watch TV or play video games or whatever it is. Use that time for YOU to clock out too. Take a bath, take a nap - do something for YOU, that doesn't involve laundry or cooking or dishes or taking care of the kids. Divide and conquer your kiddos during this time. Your newborn chills out in the bathroom with you. Your other little one hangs out with dad (toys and baby gates or whatever else to keep them "locked in" and preoccupied). I'd recommend an hour just so you both get your time. But after that hour, it's hands on. Remind him as much as you need to do whatever needs to be done - for my husband that can range between once and ten times. Put away all devices (lock them up if you need to) and put on some music. This is the state of your house until the things that need to get done, get done. Set daily reminders on his phone (someone else suggested Google Assistant - my husband uses it for everything from timers for cooking to the grocery list; half the time I think he just likes talking to it) for the chores and his schedule (can range from get up in the morning to feed the baby) and set other reminders as you need to - go to the post office, get gas, etc. In terms of remembering to pay for things, you may just need to handle that yourself. My husband forgot the password for his online banking after the FIRST time he logged in and never accessed his account except from an ATM or to deposit a check at the bank - for SIX YEARS before we got married and I put myself on the account. I renewed his password and made my own login info - so he now has access, but can't be bothered, so he just asks if it's okay to spend money on x or y and I keep track of the bills otherwise. My husband had had to learn how to work around himself since he was never put on meds, so he has coping mechanisms your husband won't and I can't speak to them. But these are just some of the accommodations I've made to my own habits to make sure that he doesn't fall down an internet hole and still helps out around the house. If I have to text him 20 times to get him to pick up milk on his way home from work, that's what I do.

I have adhd and I am the one everyone turns to for guidance and leadership. I don’t use medication so some days are an effing challenge to say the least. I want to commend you for being patient with him and not abandoning him.