just needed to pour out what I've been wanting to say

so for awhile now me and my fiance havent been the same. we just had our son almost 9 months ago and the past few months we've just been blah with each other. Our conversations been simple, short, the way we act toward each other is blah, I cant really explain it. Plus in July we had a 3 some with my BEST FRIEND. since then it hasn't been the same between us. I've been considering counseling for us, we've tried to talk about the situation but doesn't work. and we used to be super super good with communication in our relationship too. but ever since July, things went south. we fight more, we have less sex, we dont love the same. having a 3 some ruined us and we are scared to admit it. I think about it constantly, I get myself so down because I watched my soon to be husband fuck my bestfriend! it's gotten to me super bad to the point I cant be around him.. I've considered leaving but I love him too much.. I guess I just needed to pour my heart out to an app. 😪😪😭