This is post partum ladies. It's the wee hours of the morning, baby is fed, pump is in pieces and is being sanitized, I've got padsicles on the counter, sprays/tucks/pads all over my toilet. No amount of experience or cloth diapers can stop the breast milk from getting everywhere. I immediately caught a sinus infection from my oldest baby and let me tell you how fun it is trying to keep snot, coughs and sneezes away from new baby when the toddler is curious. So, I can't breath, my face and teeth hurt on top of the already huge adjustment that is recovery (I'll give you a hint- it hurts) and engorgement. It's stressful trying to get rest but be involved and settle into a routine. And after the trauma that was so unlike my first birth I can see how all of this can crush a mama. So, hang in there ladies. It's not all roses and sunshine but I know that you know some other mamas who know what this is like. They know mommy guilt too and they've seen a trainwreck like this looking at them in the stark bathroom light too. Reach out if you need to but know that this too shall pass.