For awhile now, I’ve been on a really great high throughout our fertility journey. I have felt at peace with the process, I felt hopeful, positive, and almost relieved I didn’t get pregnant when I wanted to based on other things life brought me (new teaching job, finishing my masters). But the last week, I feel I’m back in the lows. I am so emotional, I cry every single day, I feel so sad and hurt, and the idea of ever having a baby feels very out of reach. I’ve been here before, in this place. And I know I’ll feel hope again and experience those highs. But right now- it feels very raw. And quite frankly, I’m angry. I feel I can’t express these feelings to anyone but this community because if I hear ONE MORE TIME that my stress of infertility is what’s causing me not to conceive or sustain a pregnancy, I maaaay end up in jail. “If you let everything go, it will just happen.” IF yOu LeT eVeRyThInG gO iT wIlL jUSt hAPpEN 🙄 Cool, maybe I’ll try that. I would go to the ends of the Earth if I TRULY had any control whether I conceived or not. We know we all would for how much we truly want this. So having someone tell me it’s MY fault I can’t get pregnant because IM STRESSED is just hurtful. Hell yeah I’m stressed. Feeling so freaking blahhhhhhh and no one to talk to, so that’s why I’m here. Thanks for listening 💕