Holding the baby so I can do things?

Question

Is this something that people actually find helpful? People keep offering to hold the baby for me so I can get things done around the house or take a nap. It seems weird to me. I’m not going to take a nap with a bunch of people hanging out in my living room anyway and baby can get put down and sleep while I do things. Why does someone need to hold him?
I really just want everyone to leave me and my new little family alone...

Accepted Answer

Yup, this is something we have backwards. Baby should be with mo while others tend to the house and mom’s needs. Even if baby is happy being held by others (mine was not), those early days are crucial for bonding with mom and closeness to baby helps mom heal from birth. Lack of proper postpartum support and separation from baby are two important reasons so many moms suffer from PPD.

Answer

Yeah it’s a weird thing, to think you might actually go nap while they’re there. I did take myself outside of my comfort zone and take those moments to shower, do some laundry, etc though. It helps. 
The people I am VERY close to, like my mom and sister, I would tell the actual truth - “if you really want to help, can you show up with food so I don’t need to cook today? Or bring some groceries for a few days, I need ____”. I would let my mom do dishes while I finally relaxed.

Answer

It's a thing and a really considerate gesture to ask. With my first, he could easily be plopped down and no problem. My second needs to be held upright, she hates lying on get back. She even falls asleep upright. They are asking to try to make your life easier. As for baby goes through different phases, you may find that you just need an hour or two to regroup for yourself. People are letting you know they are there to help you, don't take that for granted even if you don't need the help right now.

Answer

I always feel like it’d be way more helpful for people to offer to make dinner or clean the kitchen or run the vacuum while I relax with my newborn. 🤷‍♀️

Answer

I personally love it when other people want to entertain and care for baby for a little while.  But if that’s not for you then just tell them no.

Answer

My mom was great she would come over and help with house stuff! She did dishes laundry anything I needed! If I was super sleepy but baby was cluster feeding she would let me close my eyes while breastfeeding and just keep and eye on us to be sure baby was safe! It was great! My in laws on the other hand only wanted to help with baby, can we feed him a bottle, well no we are working on perfecting our latch right now. Can we take him on a walk, I need fresh air just as much as he did so I would be joining you. Wanna take a nap, no I won’t be able to sleep with you guys in the house. I get that everyone offers help in different ways but some of it is just more stressful then helpful

Answer

People are just excited about the baby and want to use it as an excuse to hold him. Not a big deal. 
I certainly don’t need people to hold my baby so I can do stuff but I let my family spend time holding my baby when visiting.

Answer

So yes and no, in my mind I always went over to ‘help’ I would keep the baby while mom took a shower, and then clean anything I could at their hours- dishes, laundry, kids room, fridge etc while she napped w baby- then I’d generally take her home for the night so mom and husband could have some time off

Answer

I think you have to find what works for you and your little one the best - there’s no right or wrong. For me, I found it more useful in the early days having help with prepping and cooking food, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, etc. My daughter is breastfed and clusterfed a lot in the early weeks, so I felt that it was important for us to be together most of the time, whilst my partner did most of the chores. Friends and family came out occasionally to help with things too.

Answer

My girl has to be held almost all the time so it is a huge help when other people can hold her so I can get stuff done. Even if it's just making myself something to eat/going to the bathroom.

Holding the baby so I can do things?

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