I’ve suffered from an anxiety disorder most of my life. When I was younger, I’d have severe panic attacks often (every night).

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to manage better and have a bit more control over life. Sometimes, I’m still faced with extreme anxiety but the attacks usually only show up when I’m in a fight with someone I care about.

The last few days, my random anxiety and panic attacks are beginning to resurface. I find myself crying for hours, I don’t typically cry. My fiancé is overwhelmed and while he knows how to comfort me, he gets frustrated because as soon as he’s calmed me down, I’m freaking out about something else.

Noises are also beginning to be too much. My cat playing with paper while I was waking up sent me into a panic where I began hitting myself. (No damage, not serious hits. No bruises) Any noise tonight seems to put me on edge and make me want to panic.

I’m familiar with all of this, I know to talk to my OB on Monday if it’s continued. I’ve studied and researched and I have written many, many mental health articles.

But, it’s still scary. It’s still confusing. And it’s still lonely. I guess I just need a friend? I need to know I’m not alone? I don’t want to go through this again.

I’m terrified of becoming a burden to my fiancé. Everyone usually leaves because they can’t handle my anxiety.