when i was 21w5d the day started off great i was finally going to find out the gender of my baby! i was ecstatic and wishing for a boy. i got to my ultrasound appointment and lol and behold i found out my little bean was a boy i was thrilled. minutes late my tech had noticed something did not seem right with my cervix. she suggested i’d immediately go to the hospital and get checked. i went and then found out i was 3 cm dilated, to say the least i was devastated. the doctors told me the likelihood of my baby surviving being born at only 21 weeks was very unlikely. i was put on bed rest in the hospital. i’ve never been so scared in my life. fast forward to me still being in the hospital and being 25w2d, i sat up in my bed and my water broke. i called my nurse and they rushed me to labor and delivery. i was having contractions about every 4-5 minutes. i was checked and 5cm dilated. i got an epidural and was expecting my baby to arrive that night. i was exhausted emotionally and physically. i fell asleep and by the time i woke up my contractions miraculously had stopped. i was moved back to my regular room. a couple days later i had my usual daily nst and my weekly ultrasound. but the ultrasound just wasn’t right, he failed all of the points the look for; obviously no fluid my water broke, the baby wasn’t moving or practicing breathing. once again i was rushed to labor and delivery and checked, i was 9cm dilated. ok the baby is definitely coming and he’s coming today. he was 25w6d. i was terrified nobody knew what was going to happen when he came or what complications there would be. i got an epidural (which was horrendous the second time, he was student anesthesiologist and it took about an hour) finally it was time to push there was 18 doctors and nurses in the room! after about 20 minutes of pushing my baby boy was here. he came out screaming and i started bawling

joel benjamin came on 10/25/18 at 7:22 weighing 1lb 10oz

he was rushed to the nicu and i got to go see him in about an hour later. he was the tiniest baby i had ever seen

the whole experience was pretty surreal.

first time i ever held him.

having a baby in the nicu is so hard. i really wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. but we were so blessed. he had no severe complications just being on a cpap for oxygen and needed one blood transfusion. how did i get so blessed??

he had a bit of trouble gaining weight at first but quickly started to make up for it. before i knew it they took out his cpap and put in a nasal cannula. i was thrilled! i could finally see my baby boy face so much better

i was so excited when i could finally dress him!!

my precious baby boy. i never knew i could love someone so much

next big milestone he was finally off of oxygen!! and feeding tube

he had some complications coming off his feeding tube and was off and back on it for a couple weeks

finally on january 16th i got the call i had been waiting 84 long days for. i could bring my son home!!

this journey was so long and the hardest thing that has ever happened to me. i lost my job, had to give away my cats and move back home with my parents but every second i spend with the perfect amazing miracle baby boy makes it all worth it. he’s thriving at home and weighs 6lb 2oz now!!! i’m so in love and thank you so much if you actually made it through my story. 🥰🥰