Life is just complicated... when I pictured where we would be 5 years into our marriage, I didn’t picture this at all.

My husband travels a lot and we just got into one of our biggest fights and he left without saying good bye or anything. Thankfully kissed our 2 yr old good bye.

We got into a big fight yesterday because my husband kept making remarks that were very direct and outspoken. The sole reason for most of our fights is I feel he is too direct and disrespectful the way he says things. He is always hyper and rushing us and yesterday I was not even close to ready but he got our 2 yr old and himself on the car and left me to get all the bags, turn off the lights and everything else done which I don’t mind doing but then he calls me from the driveway telling me to grab a package to mail... fine. Well I forgot the package because I was rushing and getting everything ready. He is really pissed and I say “please let’s not let this ruin our Sunday morning, you should have come back in the house and grabbed the package yourself if it was important to mail it this morn.” Well that was a mistake, he proceeds to say a number of things like “the bags were basically packed... there isn’t that much to grab... I can’t believe you forgot it...” basically in so many words, you are thoughtless. He has said numerous times about other things “you just didn’t even think about it, did you?”

The fight escalated later... we were out walking with our son in the rain (fun) and he pointing out nonstop things like I parked to close to the curb and to the bend in the street.... and I just tell him could we try to be pleasant and have a nice chat, then he goes to say “well I’ll be gone tomorrow anyways” then proceeds to be silent for the next 2 hrs at the playground and the tries to joke and say I’m being oversensitive and overreacting. That’s another thing, I’m always sensitive. I tell him “I’m still very upset. I don’t like the way you talked to me and especially about being gone... you should have apologized right away” he says “fine sorry...” then a min later says “I don’t have to apologize and I’m always the bad guy”

This is just one argument of many... he always has the same things to say to me. I’ve tried talking and approaching him in many diff ways. I’m not perfect but I feel I’m always addressing it and trying to solve it

I think he lost respect for me... I told him this morning when he kept repeating the same things he does when we are fighting that we have to go to marriage counseling.

This is the other fun part about it... he is traveling to the states where I’m from and we live in Germany where he is from. I’m stuck in this foreign country and the weather is so shitty and depressing while he travels back to my home... I honestly was looking on indeed for jobs today and planning moving back home with our 2 yr old . It would def destroy me separately us as a family but I don’t think I can handle this anymore... he has to start making effort otherwise I’ll just become so depressed here. My niece is going into surgery tomorrow too and it kills me that I can’t be there. I’ve given up my dream career to be here for his dream career.

I also feel super ashamed because he did loose his dad this past yr and maybe all this is grief but he needs to find a healthy way to deal with it. This also started to surface before his dad became ill so I just pointing it aside my emotions during his dads illness and loss.

My parents in law had a horrible marriage. On his death bed, my MIL said she should have left him a long time ago... yea that bad. Totally had no clues before we moved here. They put on such an act. Before my FIL got ill too, I thought there would be more family support but no support at all esp from my MIL

Sorry for the rant and thank you if anyone has anything to add... I don’t know... I really feel alone here but so thankful for my mom and WhatsApp tho she was a single mom and knows how hard it would be for me so she is so sad