I’ve been talking to a guy for a while now. We’ve been friends, and then started talking daily. We’re staying friends because he’s in a relationship and we both refuse to be “that person”. The relationship isn’t going well, and we have expressed interest in each other. But it’s even more complicated than the failing relationship. There’s a 9.5 year difference between us. I’m 26, and he’s turning 36. He has two children and an ex-wife. We both have anxiety disorders, which is how our friendship blossomed, because we were discussing what triggers us and how we deal with it. He can’t understand why someone like me would want someone like him, and vice versa. He tells me I’m in my prime and he’s “too old”. And I tell him that I’m young and naive compared to him. And yet the feelings are there, and we are falling for each other. He asks what I could possibly see in him, and I tell him it’s quite simple. He has strong morals and family values like I do (rare to find these days), and he genuinely cares. He wants to know how my day was, down to the most boring details like what I had for lunch or how my drive was. I’m torn. I like him a lot. But I refuse to be “that woman”. So I am careful to monitor what I say. We don’t hang out in person, so we don’t have an opportunity to make poor choices after drinking. I’m struggling to understand what he sees in me. And I worry about what people would think with me dating someone so much older. I’ve never dated an older guy, or even one with children. I love kids, so it’s not really a problem. It just adds a whole different level to a relationship that I’ve never had to confront before.